Twilight Diaries
by IceChocolateTammy
Summary: Life after Breaking Dawn goes on for the Cullens, but what new adventure will they have? Read about their daily life and problems that they face. You'll be in for a ride!
1. Dear Diary: The First Entry

**Hi Everyone! this is my first fan-fic, so i hope you like it. I would like to clarify some things though. Firstly, i do not own the Twilight Saga. They belong to Stephenie Meyer. Secondly, i DID NOT rip this off from another blog, should you have seen it before. The blog was mine, the story mine, before i decided that i could reach out to a greater audience here. So, enjoy :D**

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Dear Diary: The First Entry (Bella)

It is kind of weird, to have to share a diary with my family. But regardless, there is no secrets in the house anyway, so the whole point of writing down your deepest, darkest secrets in a diary is kind of moot.

Life now, is interesting. Jacob has been coming frequently, too frequently for my liking, to visit Renesmee. But as time passed, I found that i could slowly understand his desperate need to see her. She is growing fast, very fast, and I do not think that Jacob wants to miss much of her growth. Yesterday, she outgrew a outfit that Rosalie had bought for her in 10 hours. When we first dressed her, the frilly dress had fit her perfectly, not too long, not too short. But by the end of 10 hours, when Edward went to check on her, the dress was 5 cm above her knee. Though you may think it is not much, the dress was 3 cm below her knee when she first wore it. Carlisle was instantly serious when Edward reported about it. I locked eyes with Jake, who was also there with us, and from the look in each other's eyes, we shared a common thought- why is she still growing so fast?

Carlisle deduced that perphaps the growth spurt would slow down with the passage of time, but she was still growing really fast. Although there really is no harm at all, all of us just cannot but help wonder what really is happening, since there is no medical theory about it. This entry is starting to get a little depressing, so i will move on to other things.

Just yesterday, Alice dragged Rose and me to Seattle for a full day shopping trip. She started off with clothes for Esme and us, and obviously for herself. Everytime she saw something that caught her fancy, she would pick it out with a size XS. First, she dragged us to Dolce and Gabbana and we came out half an hour later with the staff staring at us with worshipful eyes, especially the guys, and our arms ladened with an average of 3 bags full of clothes each. Then she dragged us to Louis Vuitton and she bought a total of 5 bags for herself. Rose and I each got 2 while we picked out 3 for Esme. And you can guess the rest that happens. Gucci, Armani, Cartier, Chanel etc. You name it, we were there. By the time we finished shopping for ourself, we had already made 3 trips to the Volvo to ditch the bags. Then we went to Ralph Lauren, Boss, Tods and a bunch of other places to get new stuff for Carlisle, Edward, Jazz and Em.

By the time we got home, we were mentally exhuasted. Well, for me, anyway. Alice was still hyper and jumping all around as if she could go for another 10 hours straight of shopping. Well, I was going to put my foot down the next time. Go only for half day shopping trips. If Alice didnt always have a way to get what she wants and I not a sucker for guilt traps, I'll never have gone for those long shopping trips. I used to not like shopping much, back before I came to Forks, but Alice has totally changed that perspective. On some days I totally despise it, but on others, like her, I'll be dying to go and shop. Guess that means there is something wrong with my brain, though Jake is always joking about a technical glitch in my head. As usual.

The good thing was Edward was there, with Renesmee to welcome me home. Until I saw him, I had yet to realise that I missed him alot. He smiled, and my body melted like butter under the scorching heat of his beautiful golden eyes.

It is getting late, so I will stop here for this entry. I do not think it will be me writing the next time, maybe Edward or Alice.

Stay tuned regardless.

Bella

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**So, how was it? I will put up the next chapter if the reviews are positive. All reviews accepted :D**

**IceChocolateTammy**


	2. Dear Diary: Visit

Try and guess what I saw this morning. No idea? Well, I saw that Renee was coming for a visit.

Carlisle, Esme and I were getting ready to hunt. "Let's..." Carlisle started to say, but I didn't hear the rest of his words. One moment I was looking at Esme, the next I was locked in the vision of the future.

_Renee was walking to our porch, smiling, as she prepared to see Bella. Before she got the chance to knock, Edward had opened the door. "Hello Renee," he greeted. To her, it would seem welcoming and warm, but underlying it was tension. It was obvious that he should feel nervous. What would Bella do? Could she control herself? Or will Renee smell so delicious to her that she would slip? Renee said "Hi. Edward." Just then, Bella would walk over. "Bella!" Renee would squeal in delight. Bella smiled. Just then, Bella took a breathe and stiffened. Her eyes shifted out of focus. She started baring her teeth and sliding into a crouch. Renee watched, her eyes growing wider, but not understanding anything..._

And the vision went black.

I gasped aloud.

The vision disappeared into nothing and I came back into the present.

"Alice!" Jasper shook me, at my side after he heard my gasp. "What did you see Alice?" Carlisle asked. I knew, or at least I think I knew, how my face would look like. Started out blank, as I saw the future. And the horror of not knowing what might happen. Then irritation as I cursed those werewolves silently in my head. Jacob or Seth or someone must have done something that made the entire vision disappear.

I refocused on Jazz's worried face. Then at Esme and then Carlisle. Luckily, Edward and Bella were not here. Then I imagined telling them all about it and shuddered. "What's wrong, Alice?" Esme said gently, taking my hand.

"I...I..." I stammered.

"Just say it, Alice." This was Jasper's voice.

I took a deep breathe. And trilled the words out. "I saw the Renee would be coming to visit Bella. But..."

I did not get to finish as Emmett bounded in through the door, laughing. "Seriously Alice, Renee coming to see Bella got you gasping?" he managed to say in between his chortles.

"I haven't even finish!" I snapped at him. My tone made him stop. "I saw that Bella would take a deep breathe and she would stiffen, her eyes would unfocus, and she would shift into a crouch but that's all I saw. The vision just went black and disappeared." I whispered.

"And you won't know what will happen." Esme said in horror after she had recovered herself. Everyone had frozen into statues.

"Exactly." I breathed.

"What if Bella really..." Carlisle trailed off, not wanting to speak out his thoughts.

"Alice, what is the day she will come and visit?" Jasper asked.

My face turned blank as i shifted through that vision. Her plane was touching down on the 18th of October.

"18th"

"A week." Esme said.

"Well, tell the dogs to change their whatever schedule they have so Alice can SEE" Emmett said, clearly not caring much anymore. His tone made it sound that that was the perfect solution.

I wanted to punch him. I was surprised no one had actually done it yet. But everyone was deep in thought.

The sound of the Volvo broke our intense concentration. Oh no. Edward, Bella, Renesmee and Jacob were back.

_Darn! Should Edward know? And when he does..._ I stuttered in my thoughts.

Edward was the first to come to where we were. "What, Alice? What are you hiding from me?" He demanded, his forehead creased. I WAS blocking my thoughts pretty hard.

_Something you don't want to hear, Edward._

"Tell me!"

_No. No I can't Edward!_

"Fine. Carlisle will tell me."

Carlisle shot me a panicked glance, his calm shaken.

_Fine! Fine, fine, fine! I'll tell you! I'll give you the vision too. But don't freak out!_

And I gave him a run down on everything.

I will continue this post another time, and tell you what happened after telling Edward everything.

Alice.


	3. Dear Diary: Visit Part 2

**Hi everyone! Third Chapter hot off the grill! Enjoy! let me clarify again. I do not owe the Twilgiht franchise, they belong to the great Stephenie Meyer. Big thanks to all who took the time to read my fanfic. Hope you enjoy this one!**

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Alice POV

I managed to find some time to write this post, as I have promised. Here below is what happened.

_Renee was walking to our porch, smiling, as she prepared to see Bella. Before she got the chance to knock, Edward had opened the door. "Hello Renee," he greeted. To her, it would seem welcoming and warm, but underlying it was tension. It was obvious that he should feel nervous. What would Bella do? Could she control herself? Or will Renee smell so delicious to her that she would slip? Renee said "Hi. Edward." Just then, Bella would walk over. "Bella!" Renee would squeal in delight. Bella smiled. Just then, Bella took a breathe and stiffened. Her eyes shifted out of focus. She started baring her teeth and sliding into a crouch. Renee watched, her eyes growing wider, but not understanding anything..._

Edward, upon seeing it, froze immediately, his face turning into a mask of utter horror.

"You... What are you... Impossible!" Edward growled straight in my face when he had recovered. Jasper, sensing his emotions, stepped in front of me and tried to shield me from Edward's temper.

_It's not my fault Edward. Calm down._

_"_Calm down?" Edward yelled, throwing his hands in the air.

"Edward." Carlisle placed a restraining hand on his shoulder.

_The most important thing now, Edward, is telling Bella. So stop acting like a madman. _Jeez. Sometimes my most favorite brother just has to act like an overly melodramatic person.

"I know that! I'm thinking! What the hell are we going to do?" Edward worried as he paced back and forth the room. I was surprised that Jake and Bella have yet to come in to where we were. Maybe Renesmee is asleep or something.

Just then Jake and Bella walked in. "Hey, what is up? Why do you all look so stressed?" Jake quipped.

Edward lost his nerves totally.

One sixth of a second he was pacing about the room. In a quarter of a second he was grabbing Jake's shoulders and shaking him like a rag doll. We were all too stunned to do anything for a second. This was the first time we saw Edward lost his temper on Jacob after he imprinted on Nessie. "Why? You have to ask why?" He shrieked.

"Woah! Edward! Ow!" Jake said while being rattled about. We all snapped out of our shock and surprise except for Carlisle, Esme, Bella and Rose. I flew at Edward's back while Emmett and Jasper went for his hands. I leapt on his back and clung on to his neck. "Alice. Get off me NOW!" Edward spitted the words through his teeth.

"YOU stop!" I shrieked at him. I clamped my hands over his eyes and using my body weight, yanked him away from Jacob. "Jacob! Get out of here and block your thoughts!" I heard Emmett yell. Good one. If Edward can't "hear", he can't attack. And if Jake wasn't here, well, he would not get rattled about. Em and Jazz took this opportunity and wrenched his hands away from Jake and pinned them behind his back. Edward struggled violently, trying to break our grip on him. At that moment, Jasper and Em slackened their grip just a little. I saw the future. The consequence. Before I could warn them against it, Edward flung me off his back. He used so much force that I flew into the air and smashed through the glass wall and into the river. The impact of my smashing into the glass was so great; the whole glass shuddered for a sixth of a second before shattering in unison into a million pieces. I hit the water and the splash created flew into the room through the empty back of the house and drenched everyone and the whole room. All this happened in three seconds.

"Alice!" Jasper yelled. I kicked and shot to the surface, slicing through the icy water as easily as if cutting silky tofu.

"Stop him!" I responded and ran back towards the house.

_Edward! Stop it! STOP!_ I yelled at him with my thoughts.

He showed no sign of stopping. That left me with no choice but to get Jasper to do it.

"Jazz! Calm him down!" I shrieked, my voice going 3 octaves higher.

"I can't Alice! He is resisting it!" Jazz yelled over the mayhem.

Rosalie and Carlisle unfroze themself. They snuck up at one side of each other and sprang, crashing into Edward and sending him sprawling. He jumped up at once and immediately Em and Jazz got his hands and pinned it behind his back. Edward continue trashing." Let me GO!" He yelled. Carlisle and Rose grabbed on to his arm and tried to stop him from trashing about. I curled in on myself and tensed, aimed, and sprang. I was airborne for three quarters of a second before landing on Edwards back. I cupped my hands around his eyes and hooked my left legs against his hip. "Stop Edward! Stop!" I said, kicking him with my right leg. He showed no sign of stopping.

Bella and Esme were all still dumbstruck, frozen into utter immobility.

"Edward! Stop!" Bella screamed all of a sudden. Edward stopped trashing about at her voice. "What exactly happened?" She demanded. We all look at each other in the eye. After five excruciatingly long seconds, Carlisle cleared his throat. "Alice has seen that... Your mom is coming to visit and you may... attack her. But Alice can't see anything as something there is obstructing her vision."

The room was quiet for a long time except for Jacob's loud pants from being almost rattled to death as he stood outside. I was still perched on Edward's back. I hopped down. "Jake. Did your pack or Sam's make any plans to get involve so much so as the vision disappears on the 18th?" I called out to him. He walked back into the house.

"No. We have no plans whatsoever. Unless..."

"What?" Everyone asked at the same time.

"Unless we were there to stop Bella from hurting her mom. Or protecting Renee. Or restraining her. Don't you see? We could be watching out. If Bella looked like she was going to attack her mom, that might be the part your visions disappears. Am I right?" Jake concluded.

"Yes. That may be it. You're perfectly right." My voice was barely louder then a whisper.

Dead silence.

There was no response from Bella either. She was slumped on the floor, like her legs might have turned into jelly. Edward was besides her, soothing her, though she was not soothed. "It's all right. It will work out. It's all right." He murmured over and over again.

18th. It was just a week away. What would happen? What could happen? Will Bella really attack Renee? This is a mystery that no one can answer, that will only be revealed when the day itself comes. I'll keep you posted on what happened on that day. Now we have to work out some plans, to help protect Renee if Bella did attack her. If Edward can lose his nerves with worry, I honestly don't know what will happen.

Alice

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**So how was it everyone? Too melodramatic? Too long? Or did you enjoy it? Please review and let me know! Thanks!**

**IceChocolateTammy**


	4. Dear Diary: Renee

**A/N: i'm back with a new entry! Woots. Okay, this is going to be very very long. I'm sorry, but that is what you get when my imagination gets out of hand. Anyway, i hope you will enjoy this entry. Once again, let me state that:**

** 1) Twilight belongs to the great Stephenie Meyer**  
** 2) This is my own thought out plot so please dont take it as your own.**

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Alice POV

10 am. September 18th. We were at home. Pacing around the room, unable to stay still. Renee was due to come knocking at our door in 20 minutes. And that may be the last 20 minutes of her life.

I sat by the glass wall which have been repaired in a jiffy after I crashed headlong into it. Carlisle and Emmett ran to the DIY shop and pretty soon we had a new glass wall. Edward had apologized profusely to me after he had calmed down. I don't think Jasper was appeased. He kept giving Edward a murderous stare. Most probably from his point of view was that Edward had gone nuts and had thrown me off his back intentionally, (which he had to get me off his back) and made me crash through a glass wall and into a river. Though I wasn't hurt at all, (I pity the glass wall) Jasper seemed to firmly believe that I was. I tried meditating between them to no avail. Overprotective fool.

After we had the mess cleared up and everything, we held a conference at the dining table. "Okay, So Renee is coming." Rosalie started.

"And Bella might just eat her up" Emmett chortled, always finding humor in the destruction of one's life. Esme glared at him until he realized that the whole room was quiet and that Esme was shooting daggers at him out from her eyes.

"Okay, Okay. Just joking." He held his hands up in surrender. We just glared.

"I... I can't let my mom be exposed to this much danger. What if she really really smells that nice to me? What if I attack her? "Bella trailed out everything in the worst possible light, her voice going shriller and sharper and louder as the possibilities came tumbling out of her mouth. I eyed Jasper meaningfully until a aura of calm drifted across the whole room.

"Relax Bella. We are going to take all precaution we need. We will help you. We won't let you attack your mom." I said, soothingly.

More Memories flashed forward.

It was September 17, a day before Renee was set to come. I went with Bella and Edward to hunt. Carlisle, Esme, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett had already hunted. We were in the forest and I caught the scent of some deer. I took down a buck and Bella and Edward went for the does. "So small but yet going for the big ones," Edward teased, nudging me with his elbow. I could tell he was trying to keep things light. "Yeah yeah yeah," I retorted, playing along. He tried to muse my hair but I danced out of his way, sticking my tongue out at him.

"You asked for it, Alice" Edward said, shifting into a crouch. He was about to spring at me when I realized something. Bella was not with us. "Edward, where is Bella?" I said, worry coloring my tone. I abandoned the instinct to protect my back while I looked around.

"You know I won't fall for this kind of tricks."

_Yes. And give you the chance to rip me to pieces. __Edward. Honestly. Bella is gone._

The tone of my thoughts finally got his attention. He spun around. No Bella. We stared at each other. _Told ya. _I thought. And we hurtled down the path with her scent.

We found her where we left her, with the pack of deer. At her feet lay 3 dead deer, drained completely off their blood. Bella sat there, staring at her bloody hands.

"Bella love!" Edward said, dropping to his knees and hugging her tightly. She made no response whatsoever to that gesture.

"Bella. Don't worry. We won't let you hurt your mom. Everything will be fine, we promise" I soothed, sitting down on the mossy undergrowth of the forest. I was staining my pants with the mud and dew and god knows what is on a forest floor but whatever. Clothes are meant for one time wear, and not more then two.

**Knock Knock Knock**

The sound of Renee knocking the door made me look up and stop the flood of memories. This is it. The moment of horror. Edward was beside the door in a flash. Everyone else had taken up their positions. The wolf pack were scattered in the surrounding forest, I was besides Bella with Jasper and Emmett on each side of her. Carlisle and Esme stood behind them while Rose was near the door like me.

_Everyone in position?_ I asked Edward with my thoughts

"Yes" He replied with a whisper.

He opened the door.

"Hi Edward!" I heard Renee greet Edward.

"Hi Renee"

Bella took a deep breathe. "C'mon." I encouraged. "You did it with Charlie, with Sue, I'm sure you can do this" I encouraged, talking very fast and very low so that Renee would not hear, as we walked towards the door.

And we reached the door. Renee caught sight of Bella. "Bella!" She squealed like a 5 year old. Bella smiled at her mom. "Hi Mom." She said.

"Bella, you are so pretty. I bet Alice got to you, Hon"

"Yeah, she did alright" Bella muttered.

That was it for her breath.

She took a deep breath, leaning against Carlisle and Esme for support least she lost control. She crouched into a hunter's stance, her eyes started unfocusing. She was preparing an attack, I guessed. _Crap!_ I thought.

"Alice, what did you see?" Edward mumbled quick and urgent, too low for Renee to hear.

_Nothing yet, but I can feel something about it. Bella is going to attack, Edward. My intuition tells me she is going to attack!_

Just then the vision cleared a little.

_Bella pounced but I caught hold of her just in time and heaved her straight into the piano. "Sorry Renee!" Carlisle shouted and slammed the door shut and locked it just as Bella landed with a crash. Esme drew the blinds with astonishing speed and drew up the metal shuttles. All this happen in less then a second and a half. Bella jumped into the air again. I pounced at her once more but I missed by fraction of an inch and went hurtling straight onto the stairs. The marble and wood cracked as I ploughed heads first into it. Jasper and Emmett launched themselves against her and brought her crashing into Esme's new china ware cupboard. The cupboard bucked and groaned forward. Carlisle, Rose, and Edward rushed to restrain Bella and wrestled her up the stairs. Esme ran in front of them, leaving me at the stairs. The china ware crashed onto the floor in a cascade of plates and bowls and smashed into thousands of porcelain fragments._

"No!" I screamed. Too late though. The vision happened. And all hell broke lose.

Bella pounced but I caught hold of her just in time and heaved her straight into the piano. "Sorry Renee!" Carlisle shouted and slammed the door shut and locked it just as Bella landed with a crash. Esme drew the blinds with astonishing speed and drew up the metal shuttles. All this happen in less then a second and a half. Bella jumped into the air again. I pounced at her once more but I missed by fraction of an inch because she shifted slightly at that second (a snap decision which I would not be able to foresee in time) and went hurtling straight onto the stairs. The marble and wood cracked as I ploughed head first into it. Jasper and Emmett launched themselves against her and brought her crashing into Esme's new china ware cupboard. The cupboard bucked and groaned forward. Carlisle, Rose, and Edward rushed to restrain Bella and wrestled her up the stairs. Esme ran in front of them, leaving me at the stairs. The china ware crashed onto the floor in a cascade of plates and bowls and smashed into thousands of porcelain fragments.

_Bella kicked Emmett in the face and wrenched her way out of Jasper's arms as she attempted to get to Renee, to rip her apart and drink in the delicious scent…_

"Damn it! Get her! Don't let her attack!" Edward and I screamed at the same time. More crashing and bashing was heard upstairs.

"Bella? Carlisle! What's going on? Let me in!" I heard Renee scream over her frantic pounding on the door. I walk over and opened the door. Renee was crying. "What is going on Alice? What happened? One minute it was all good and then I heard things crash and screaming and I have no idea what was going on. Please tell me Alice! Please!"

"Renee. Calm down. Look. I can't tell you anything. I'm sorry. This is for your safety and ours. Please. Don't ask. I'm really sorry. I wish I can explain, but I honestly cannot." I yelled over the noise upstairs. "When things calm down a little around here, maybe you can try visiting Bella again." I said, babbling to make her feel better.

Renee said nothing. She left our house with her shoulders slumped. "Renee!" I called, running out to her. She turned and looked back, her face sad. "How are you going back?" I asked out of politeness.

"Charlie's waiting for me." she said in a monotone.

"Oh. Okay. See you next time Renee. I'm so sorry."

She didn't say anything but turned and walked down the path...

When I got back to the house, I was shocked to see what I saw. I was so engrossed with wondering how to explain things to Renee that I didn't even see the outcome of futures. Not even someone like me can really see the future, no? I'll write about it in the next entry after things had calmed down a little more.

Alice

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**A/N: So how was it guys? Too long? Too short? Too melodramatic? Please R&R. All reviews and ideas accepted. Of course, everyone is welcomed to give me some story ideas :D**

**IceChocolateTammy**


	5. Dear Diary: Horror

**A/N:**

**Hi All. **

**Sorry if i have not uploaded in a few days. I'm busy with my exams and stuff. But i promise, you will have it regularly after Thursday. Okay, so this entry is shorter then the rest, I apologise. I did not have much time to develop it much like the previous entry. I hope you will enjoy it though. The next entry will hopefully be in Bella's POV, so dont worry if you think Alice is stealing the limelight (But i LOVE Alice) Anyway, Edward's POV will probably be done soon. So, if you have any request for any characters, please dont hesitate to comment in the reviews or PM me.**

**Once again, Twilight belongs to the great Stephenie Meyer and i owe the story plot, so please dont rip it off :D**

**Happy Reading**

**ps: this is the longest A/N yet :D**

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Alice POV

The whole room was a mess. Porcelain bits and fragments littered the floor. It was like walking into an aftermath of someone plowing a tractor through the living room.

Bella was still screaming in agony, her shrieks puncturing the otherwise still air. I shuddered, moaning. Jasper was down at a flash. "Alice! What's wrong?" He asked; his eyes frantic with panic. I've always wondered what it would be like if the way we, as vampires, feel about our true partners was just ordinary love and not overwhelming. Would the concern be stifling until the point of suffocation? Or would it be hard to resist the level of adoration? Not that I was complaining, it just gives one much food for thought. Jasper was still waiting for my answer. "Nothing." I said, glancing upstairs.

The door bell rang just as the smell of wolf hit our nose. Urg. The pack didn't usually come to our house. Except Jacob. But you'll probably know that already. So yeah. I danced to get the door while Jasper shadowed me, placing his hand on the small of my back.

"So what do you want Sam?" Jasper asked once we got the door open. "Did you clear the future?" I threw in before he could answer.

"We decided that, since Bella has superb control, we think that Renee should be safe, and not in any immediate danger. But apparently, that was not the case." he said solemnly.

"So how will we deal with this mess?" I asked.

"I honestly don't know."

Bella screamed and something upstairs shattered and crashed. Sam shuddered visibly.

"Jazz, go calm her down. Stop her. She is... terrifying me." I whispered, too low for Sam to hear. He breezed out of the room.

Sam and I stared at each other, a foot apart, just glaring at each other. "Aunty Alice?" came an angelic voice. Renesmee. "Yes?" I said as I whipped around. Renesmee ran to me and I crouched down, my arms wide. I scooped her up and she placed her hand on my neck.

_What happened to momma?_

"I don't know." I told her. Lying. I saw Sam stiffen from the corner of my eyes. He knew I was lying but it was of our priority to protect Renesmee. So he didn't say anything.

"Yes you do, Aunty Alice. You do know what happen." Renesmee argued, her lips pouting out. "Why can't you tell me?"

"Renesmee, nothing happened, really." Sam said.

She stared at him, then at me. "Fine. I'll go ask Daddy and Momma myself!" She said, struggling out of my arms.

_Shoot! Edward, get your freaking butt down here and get Nessie out! _I yelled in my thoughts.

He was down in a flash. "Mind your language, Alice. Work on your lie." He said, far too low for both Sam and Renesmee to hear.

_You should be paying better attention down here then scolding me. It's not MY fault that she suspects that we are lying. _I thought, hurt.

"Nessie, lets go out." Edward said, shrugging into a coat.

"Okay." Nessie replied. She went to Edward and he carried her out. I heard the beep of his Volvo in the garage and the engine being started before purring away. Sam left after Edward has left.

I stared at nothing for awhile. Then i stalked for the stairs. When i got to the second floor, there were sounds coming from Em and Rose's room. I walked to the door and twisted the door knob. It was locked. There was no sound. Suddenly Bella's voice could be heard. "Let me go! I need her blood! I need it!" she screeched.

"Em? Open up!" I yelled through the noise.

"No, Alice! Bella is out of control! Stay there or you might get hurt!" Carlisle yelled his voice full of panic. Oh, so it was about MY safety? Besides, I am a VAMPIRE. How the hell do I get hurt? Of course, unless Bella decides to rip my head off or something.

_What the heck._ I thought. I walked back a few steps, and I flew forward, thrusting all my strength at the door. But I miscalculated and the door flew open and I bashed straight into the bed frame. (_**Sorry guys. For some reason, I decided to make Alice seem clumsy. Makes up for all the jealousy we experience over her gracefulness**_) I righted myself and the first thing i saw was Bella. Her eyes were whirling wildly out of control, the look of torture in them. Her mouth was twisted into a grimace and she was struggling. Then i realized that Carlisle and Emmett were holding on to her arms and that she was trashing wildly, struggling to get free. _Oh my god._

I stared at her wide eyed, my mouth popping open into an O. Jasper, seeing my distress, sent a calm wave into the room. I calmed down at once, my anxiety evaporated, yet the effect of it on Bella was subtle. Jasper walked to my side and hugged me. But I stiffened.

_Renesmee walked into the room. We were all there and Bella was still out of control. Esme tried to bribe Nessie out of the room while the rest of us converged together to block Bella from her point of view. Renesmee refused. And started talking. As she talked, Bella stopped trashing and slowly gained control of herself. Bella collapsed on the floor and Renesmee ran forward, ignoring our warnings._ Edward and Nessie have decided to take things into their own hands after all.

But how will things turn out?

I will continue the story in another entry.  
Alice

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**A/N: So, how was it? Did you guys like it? Personally its not really my favourite entry thus far, but i will work on it, promise. Anyway, i have no experice to draw upon, seeing this is my first fanfic, but i hope you guys will like it. As usual, please rate and review, kay? I love reading reviews and your opinions. Send me any ideas you want incoporated in the diary entries, and i will try to fit it in the best i can. Please rate and review :D**

**IceChocolateTammy**


	6. Dear Diary: Ashamed

**Sorry for the really really long delay. So without further ado, here you have it!**

**Disclaimer: Twilight Saga belongs to the awesome Stephanie Meyer. I own nothing but the plot**

Bella's POV

I guess I totally blew it.

Why did it have to be my mom of all people? Why couldn't I control myself? What is wrong with me? Nothing, except for the fact that I almost took my mother's life.

Renee was just there, by the door. I had to take a breath. The wind, it blew her scent, her warm, delicious floral scent towards me. It hit me hard, like hitting a brick wall. It was the most delicious scent ever. I want it, and i want it bad. Never mind that it was my mother who was standing there. I just want it. It seemed like a naive hope of getting to her, what with everyone surrounding me. I don't want to hurt my family, i just want the blood. I have no choice if i want to get to Renee. My only choice was to lunge and attack.

Alice. Alice. Alice. She just has to spoil everything, doesn't she? Maybe it is my fault that i did not account her abilities in my decision making. But my frenzied brain did not think of anything else but pounce and rip her head off when she threw me into the piano. Can't she see my murderous look? Why is she throwing herself at me again? _Well, let her crash. _The devil said in my thoughts. I moved my body slightly by an inch and she flew past me, straight into the marble staircase. I could feel my self coming back to me when i saw her crash, but i remembered the scent of blood and i was back into my frenzied craze.

Carlisle and Esme. Emmett and Rose. Jasper. Alice. Edward. They all stopped me from attacking. _Why?_ I yelled in my thoughts;_ stop ruining my plans to get her blood! _

"Let me go!" I screamed. I needed that blood. Why can't they let me go? I trashed violently, barely aware that Edward was gone and Alice was getting sick watching me. Just then, Renesmee entered. Everyone converged in front of me, blocking me from seeing my daughter. _What the hell!_ I seethed. I continued my frantic struggle against Emmett's and Jasper's grip.

"Nessie, why don't you go out and play with Jacob? I'm sure you would like the beach a lot." Esme said her voice calm for Renesmee's sake.

"No. I won't." Renesmee said. "Momma?" She called. I badly wanted to answer her but I knew that i should not hurt my daughter. Sensing that i won't be answering, she said " Uncle Em, Uncle Jasper, Aunt Alice, Aunt Rose, please make way."

I saw Alice nodding and stepping away but Emmett grabbed her hand. "Alice, No!" he cautioned soft enough that Nessie did not hear.

"Em, I saw the future, we have to move away." Alice assured him. Hearing Alice's words, i felt myself gaining a little control of myself. Jasper stared at Alice, then released me and moved aside to stand next to her. Emmett and Rosalie stared in disbelief, but knowing Alice, listening to her is probably the best. Rose sighed and stepped aside and I could see my daughter. She looked so beautiful and innocent, but i could see my bloodlust in her eyes. Sensing that she knew what was going on, I immediately felt ashamed. Why didn't i control myself better and not attack?

"Momma? Why do you want to attack Grandma Renee?"

That threw me off at once. Why did I want to attack my mother? Simple, her blood was the sweetest thing I ever smelled in my life. I started to understand why Edward hated me in that first instance we met. It nearly ruined his entire life and existence.

But thinking about it made me realize something. Yes, Edward. I felt a pang of pain shoot through my heart even though it was dead. How I must have made him suffer then, with my scent. But I must be hurting him now even more with my actions. As I realized this, I felt bad. Horrible. Terrible. Any vocabulary that goes along those lines. And my family. I must have trashed at least a few thousand worth of furniture, and my attitude and action towards restraining me were simply atrocious. But worse of all, what have I done to my MOTHER? I made her leave. Heck, I even wanted to kill her.

What kind of daughter am I?

As I thought, I felt reason come back to me. One simple question from my lovely daughter, and I have seen the damage of what I have done. I stood up from where I was restrained by Jasper and Emmett. I looked at my family. Rose smiled; happy that reason has finally came back to me. Emmett grinned, carefree as always. Alice's expression mimicked Emmett's, a wide smile plastered on her face. Jasper was still anxious. Esme and Carlisle looked at me tenderly, lovely and caring as always. Seeing their expression made me feel really guilty for what I have done just 10 minutes ago. My head fell, my hair dropping to cover my face like a protective shield. Then I suddenly decided on what I would do.

I ran.

There was no sound of pursuit as I ran as far as I could away from Forks, away from everything, away from home. As I leapt over the river, I heard Alice mumble something about me just needing time alone for myself. I didn't hear. I didn't want to hear. I didn't care about anything anymore to hear. All I know is that I needed to get out of here, and fast.

So caught up in my lament I didn't hear the soft patter of feet behind me till he or she was very close. Feeling the need to protect my back, I whipped around and growled. It was Edward. He held his hands up above his head as if he was surrendering and slowed down.

"Bella, honey" He whispered, stepping towards me.

"Stay away from ME!" I screamed at him, sliding myself into a crouch at the same time.

"Bella…" Edward whispered, pain showing in his beautiful ocher eyes.

"ARGHHH!" I screamed as I spun around and ran headlong into the forest, my hands clamped over my ears.

"Bella! Let me come with you at the very least" He yelled after me, running but staying far behind me.

"Get lost Edward! Stop following me!" I screamed back. I was far to gone to even care how badly my words would hurt him.

I forged on, and left him alone behind me, a mask of pain and loss covering his face, an expression I knew that if I saw, it would haunt me forever.

**A/N: I'm so sorry for the abrupt end, I have to go sleep now **


End file.
